Who do you make pancakes for?

Who do you make pancakes for?

skastrul's picture

In our society, workaholism is the one addiction that you’re actually celebrated for. It’s an addiction just like anything else, but nobody is saying things like, “You know, she works so hard, I can’t bear to be near her, He is disgusting to me. The way he constantly strives to do more work smarter, faster” When being a workaholic means that your business is thriving, it’s great! Everybody applauds, you even get awards for it.

We all have those pressures and hear things like, “Where are you? I never see you.” That’s why it’s so important that we communicate with our people, that we see them and not just talk about ourselves, that when we are home on a Saturday morning we make somebody breakfast. Make someone you love pancakes this weekend. Even if you burn them, even if your pancakes don’t really look like Mickey Mouse, put the same focus into it that you do work and then anchor those pancakes in love. Make someone breakfast.

Think about it. Have you have been crappy and unavailable to your peeps? You know, you come home, you do your face plant. You’re like, “I am exhausted. I will get to it later, I had a crazy day…” and the most you can contribute is to take out the garbage. Your still thinking about the bug you haven’t fixed, the to do list that is still unchecked, The meeting you have tomorrow” And your people are like I don’t even see enough to fight with you about the garbage.

They may wait until the weekends to tell you everything that they’re pissed off about because now they’re starting to understand that you are just no good through the week, you’re exhausted, so they wait until the weekend and they unload all the loneliness and frustration on you. So get to them first. Get your pancakes in order my friends.

Now if you’re sitting there and you’re like, “I’ve got nobody to make no pancakes for.” Pick up the phone and call that person who always picks up the phone for you. Maybe it’s an auntie, maybe it’s a cousin, maybe it’s a best friend and say, “How you’re doing? I miss you. What’s up? If you were here, I’d make you a pancake.” And this friend, this auntie, whoever can be like, “What? Are you ok ?” And then you say, “No, I have just been working so hard. It’s been crazy, 12 hours a day. It’s like blowing up my mind, my schedule, everything. As much as I like what I do, I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.”

Do it. Do it this Saturday, because we need them. With success comes more responsibility. It’s easy to get into a rhythm and habit of making more withdrawals than we are deposits into our relationships. Maybe we told them what might happen as we pursue our careers. The reality is that you probably didn’t do a really good job of communicating that either. What you want to do is think about managing your relationships like you’re working in banking right now.

You’ve got to make some deposits. And those deposits start with pancakes, things that you do for them that you didn’t have to do and you’re not explaining, you’re not like caught, “Well, I made pancakes for you and yours is shaped like Mickey Mouse.” It’s just a selfless act. It tells them, I see you and I see what you’re doing for me in this really crazy time in my life. I know I burnt these pancakes, they probably don’t taste good, but the love and the labor is there and now simply shut up and listen. Listen over pancakes to the life of your loved one. That’s good.



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About Sandee

Sandee Kastrul's photo
I believe that the definition of leadership is making opportunities for others. I am a leadership geek and find that the richest opportunities for all of our futures lie in education. I am a believer in reciprocity in education and that as educators we are both teacher and student. I believe that the world can be a classroom if we open ourselves to the notion that application, concatenation and liberation start with listening. Schedule Sandee to Speak

About i.c.stars

i.c.stars is a non-profit organization in Chicago for adults with a high school diploma or GED. Using project-based learning and full immersion teaching, i.c.stars provides an opportunity for change-driven, future leaders to develop skills in business and technology. To learn more go to www.icstars.org

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